Love

Gliding

blank paper mind in a wash of light baby blue. 

My thoughts are no longer crowded, I’ve forgotten about their previous encroaching. 

Skating. Ease. Nothing and everything. 

Lightness.

Weightless. 

Free. 

Things are right and exciting. 

I move contentedly, not noticing my demons. 

Floating in a boat on a calm sea. 

That’s what love is to me.

-Maggie x-

The sigh of the wind: Chapter 2.

“Alright Bean?”

White-hot shock waved out of me. It was Harvey’s voice, his hair shorter than it had been before but still with it’s unmistakeable tight curls that appeared as though they were charged with enough energy to fly off his head. His hair never did though, always remaining as thick on his head as it had been for years. I looked at his skin, it had paled, he was older, gaunter but the familiar warm creases under his eyes were still there, as if he were smiling all the time.

“Wh-where? Harvey!!! Where have you been?! I missed you so much, oh my god are you hurt? We’ve been looking all over. Did someone take you? Are you ill? WHAT happened?”

“I love you. I’m sorry, it wasn’t my fault, you look well, I missed you too. The kettle’s on? Cup of tea?”

“I…” I looked at him. He looked back and I realised that I wouldn’t get the story all at once, it would have to trickle slowly and that if he opened up fully the flood would come and all would be destroyed. It was best to release the pent-up story slowly I realised, cup of tea it was. “Yes, tea, want to watch some TV?”

“Sure.” He got out the spoons from the drawer as I reached and took our favourite mugs from the mug tree, it was like an ancient dance that we’d always done. I got the mugs, he wove around me and got the spoons, I got the tea bags, he got the milk, I spooned the sugar, he poured the water and I mixed, then we took the mugs to the cold water tap and he worked the tap whilst we added some cold water to the tea to make it drinkable. Finally he put the milk and I lifted my mug to taste, it was perfect. The warmth wrapped my face and I spilt a tiny bit on my top. I had been so focused on his face that I wasn’t concentrating on drinking. I didn’t want to take my eyes off him in case he disappeared again. It was like magic.

-Maggie x-

The sigh of the wind: Chapter 1.

The Sea washes over my toes and I feel it cleansing my mind. I move back from the water and watch a cocker-spaniel weaving through the fringes of seaweed. The dog, avoiding the glistening tufts of kelp happily pads across the sand. I forget all about the lies I’ve been told, my family and the sadness in my heart. I let the sea wash my troubles away and feel the gentle sigh of the wind freshen my face.

Existential questions bubble up in my mind: why are we here? What’s the matter with the world today? Then, my mind turns to food. Finally, I realise that I’m wondering where my brother Harvey is. I miss the way his face lights up with a jolly pink glow when he smiles a real smile. I miss the way he would hand me snacks silently whilst keeping his eyes transfixed on an episode of Blue Planet that he must have watched at least 20 times. He’s been missing for over a year now. One day he was there, tucked up on the sofa, wrapped in a fluffy blanket, the next he didn’t return home from meeting a friend to play a game of pool. I thought Harvey must’ve stayed with his friend and that perhaps his phone was dead.

Another night passed and that’s when I got worried. My brother had been such a content person and loved life for the most part, training to be a nurse he was looking forward to when he could work in hospitals helping the sick. I was certain something sinister had happened to him. It was just the two of us in the house, we both moved out together and as we’d always been close decided to share whilst we studied. Terrified somone had hurt Harvey, after the third night I rang the police station and then the hospitals near here. There’s was silence on the line in terms of positivity. The police recommended the missing person’s website and so I posted on there. There were a few sightings posted by locals of a curly haired man matching Harvey’s description, wandering over the cliffs and on the beach. Filled with hope I visit those places everyday and have done since. No sign of Harvey or his wild hair.

I arrived home, left my heavy wellies by the door and put on the kettle. I watched as the steam rose from the kettle’s spout, it felt as though some secret was being released from it’s watery depths. Then I heard the door click. I whirled around.

-Maggie x-